March 30th, 2015-- M Vs. The U.S. Clothing Industry

Today, I was informed by one of my female friends (the irony is that i have some, but none will go out with me,) and she told me that she was embarrassed. Naturally, being a good friend, I asked why. She said that she found out yesterday that the only clothes that fit her were in size 18's. She is 16.

So I do some research, and here's what I find out:

Because of our culture, the United States clothing industry has been creating clothes purposely too small. In this way, they can make 14 year old girls look sexually attractive.

However, when mothers go out to buy clothes for their children, they encounter this and respond in one of two ways:

a) "Oh, the companies are always right, so I shouldn't think for myself and just trust them!"

or:

b) "Oh, these clothes don't fit my girl, so she must be fat. Time to get on her about her weight!"

(Also, to those girls who think being skinnier makes guys like you, good guys don't give a flying fuck about your weight.)

When I told my female friend this, she protested that she "likes her clothes."

Uh... what the hell?

I've just given you the reason for your mortification and essentially told you that it isn't your fault. I would expect to at least get some motherfucking gratitude.

Come on, Abercrombie and Fitch. I'm gonna sue you for not letting me get laid.

M out.

Look tomorrow for a post on the movie "Bird-demic," possibly the worst film not directed by Michael Bay.